Blink and it’s gone.

Seventeen days into my month of working out and I’m content with my success ratio. I’ve missed three days. At first I was dismayed, because those three days all occurred before the 13th of January giving me a 25% failure ratio. Or a 75% success ratio, if I was feeling positive. But in the aftermath of those three days, I wasn’t.

Why is it so hard to find an hour a day to work out? To be perfectly honest, my schedule is pretty light these days. The spring semester hasn’t started yet. Free-lance work is not delivering itself to my doorstep. The ground outside is frozen solid.

chickens in snow

All of that means that I can pick and choose what’s on my schedule, filling it with writing, seeing friends and family, reading and cleaning my office (on those days that I panic about the lack of work and need to feel productive).

But on those three exercise-less days, I blinked. And the day was over. Twice I was driving home from seeing friends at 9:30 at night and I almost smacked myself in the forehead with my palm. How could I have forgotten? Where was my head? Why didn’t I plan better?

This blog, these experiments, are pretty much my life right now (see above about my lack of work and schooling). So, I’m disturbed to find that my body and my mind could be leading such separate lives. Was it speed? Was I rushing too much? Not paying attention to where I spent my efforts and energy? Or was I just being too hard on myself?

I realize that working out every single day is not a realistic long-term goal, but to not maintain for twelve days in a row is frustrating. It would have been more tolerable if I had made a conscious decision, “full schedule today, I guess I’ll have to skip my workout.” It was the lack of attention that haunted me.

Sort of haunted me. I’ve moved on. What else can you do? I’ve worked out every day this week, although one of those workouts consisted of a lazy walk around the block and some very listless yoga. But still, my attention was there. I was paying attention to what was important to me.

I won’t beat myself up too much. I need to conserve my energy for today. I’m going cross-country skiing with two Czech women- my most hardcore athletic friend and her equally hardcore mother.Yesterday I went to her house for a “walk” and walk we did. Six miles.

I can only imagine what they have planned for me today.

 

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